People always say, "let it go," but are we ever really taught exactly how to do that? The steps are lined out here in a way to help you truly let go of past hurts and move forward to a better space.
In order to really be free of the past, we have to be willing to make some changes that will empower us to put it all down and quit packing it around. Think of your life experiences as rocks that you have to carry in your backpack. Why would you keep all of the ugly, painful ones? These steps help you to move on with what you are willing to carry and keep as part of your daily life. Choose wisely.
Step 1: Identify it
Identify the painful experience which no longer serves your life purpose. Figure out what is causing you distress from your past.
Step 2: Decide to Change Your Life
Make the conscious decision that you will let this go and no longer carry it around with you. Your brain has formed a habit of thinking about it, and now you will create a new habit of thinking about something better. The point is, it won't just magically disappear on its own. You're going to have to work at it a bit or a lot.
If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. ~Ajahn Chah
Step 3: Take Your Power Back
Stop viewing yourself as the victim (or the one to blame for everything). This is not to say you weren't wronged or didn't make mistakes toward others; just that it can keep you in a powerless situation and we do not want that. Forgiveness means that the past no longer has control over you, or your thoughts and emotions. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Begin to take on the responsibility for your own happiness and health. No one else can or will do that for you, so take chargeof it yourself. When you begin to focus on your strengths instead of how you were pained or caused pain, you take your power back. This alone will change your life in spectacular ways.
Step 4: Think a New Thought
Quit talking/thinking about the person or event who hurt you, or whom you hurt. Repeatedly going over it both reinforces your brain's habit to dwell on it and makes you relive the experience over and over. Healing cannot ever come from this. Instead, choose an empowering or inspirational thought or quote to be your daily mantra. Replace the painful thought with your new one. It takes time, but it absolutely works.
Step 5: Action Items
Choose small action items that will make your life better. Whenever you are mad, sad, regretful, or dwelling, find one thing you can do right now that is productive. Clean your car, update your resume, exercise to boost your mood, shop for healthy food, call a counselor, list out your next few goals, help someone in need of something. The point is to stop spending energy in the past and instead focus on what you can do right now in this moment to begin the life you want and deserve to have.
Step 6: Find the Good in a Bad Situation
Find the good life lessons wrapped up in the bad life experiences. My kids and I lost our home in a horrific wildfire and my oldest and I almost died trapped in it. It would have been easy to blame the fire or the electrical company for all of the aftermath we had to push through. But blessings came of it, such as my young kids being grateful now for all of the time we have together. It's been over a year and they are both still thankful. What a gift that is to have every day. When you shift your perspective to see the lesson or your strength, the event now empowers you to be more, to move through it, instead of tearing you down. The event itself doesn't ever change, but how you choose to look at it changes everything.
It's important to note that once you begin the process, some of the steps can overlap and repeat, which is what you want. Use what works for you in the moment.
I invite you to share your tips on letting go with our community here in the comments.
Love and blessings,
Dax
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