If stress and unwanted thoughts keep you up at night, this post is for you. If you find your mind continually going to a thought you don't want to keep stressing you out, these strategies will work to give you back control over your thoughts, and ultimately, your life.
How We Are Wired
Our brains are like a bunch of pathways that allow our thoughts to travel at lightening speed from one spot to another. Actually, they form grooves that help the thoughts to "flow" faster and help us to retrieve information when we need it. These grooves make it easy for us to remember things like where we live, how to ride a bike, and all the words to a thousand songs. Amazing.
But problems arise when a groove is made for something we don't want to think about all the time. Often, these thoughts are negative, or stress based, or represent a bad experience with someone else. I tell students and clients all the time, "Don't own others' behavior. Even if it is at you, it's not about you. It's about them. How someone else acts is no reflection on you." But how to stop the thoughts is the million dollar question.
Rule your mind or it will rule you. ~ Buddha
First, realize that trying to not think about something does not work. Close your eyes and don't picture a purple hippo dancing in a tutu. Don't think about that dancing hippo. What happened? I know, you saw that hippo. Instead of not thinking about something, acknowledge the thought and then let it pass by doing the following process.
How To Do It
Identify the unwanted thought/emotion and acknowledge it in your mind and body
Take a deep, cleansing breath and prepare to allow the thought to leave with each exhale
Focus on your replacement thought, which should be positive, kind, and your own
Allow your brain the time it needs to create new grooves and more easily access your new thought (this time frame will vary for each thought and person)
Repeat a billion times
Number 3 is particularly important and you have to decide what that positive thought is before you are stressing out. Have one or two good thoughts ready, written down if needed.
An example of a negative thought is, "I suck at math," or, "I can't do this."
A good replacement thought is, "I can learn and get better," or, "I'm strong and can push through this."
You get the idea. And if you thought you were bad at math for 20 years, guess what, that is a pretty deep groove in your brain. If the thought was traumatic, guess what, that is also a pretty deep groove. It takes time to put up a dam against that type of groove and begin to redirect the thought to somewhere else, but it absolutely can be done. And not to reveal too much of my geek passion for Neuroimaging, but suffice to say that pictures of the brain prove this rewiring can and does happen.
Y'all! Do you realize what this means? It means you can take power over your life by choosing what you want your thoughts to be and practicing those over and over until your mind is your own again. This. Is. Huge. The bottom line is you have a choice regarding what your thoughts are, you just have to practice and exercise that right. I can tell you with absolute certainty that no one or nothing else deserves to have power over your mind but you. Period.
Benefits
Increase happiness levels
Reach more goals
Improve relationships
Lower stress and anxiety
Repair past hurts
Free you from others' hurtful opinions
Boost immune system
Promote better sleep
Lower blood pressure
Decrease depression
Okay, who wants to sign up for this? It's free and life changing! Begin listening to how you "talk" to yourself, how you treat yourself with your thoughts. What you allow in your headspace impacts absolutely everything. You must choose what to keep in your mind. Make a promise, here and now, to begin being your own bestie, your biggest cheerleader. Your life will change for the better in many, many ways because of it.
Love and blessings,
Dax
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