A few semesters ago after class ended, my students and I left our old brick university building and walked out into a crisp autumn evening. The campus was full of color on big, gnarly trees and our breath curled around our faces in the cold air. As our group spread out, a student walking next to me asked another student, "How do you pray? I mean, you talk about it like it's easy but I've never done it. I kind of want to try it but honestly have no idea where to even start." The other student paused as if he hadn't ever had to think about that before. He finally said, "You just talk to God, that's it." Then they both looked at me expectantly even though this had never come up in class. Probably especially because it had never come up in class.
I took about 2.3 seconds to weigh the risk of my job with having a religious discussion with students on campus. It's just the climate we live in right now. Everything has to be considered before it's spoken. Like anything, there are pros and there are cons. Ultimately I chose to share information. It's what teachers do.
"James is right, you just have a conversation. You can ask for what you need, share what you are going through, and give thanks for what you have. It might feel strange at first but like anything you just keep at it and make it your own." Only later did it really hit me what it would be like to make it to adulthood and not have prayer as a way to help get through difficult times. I certainly didn't use it as much in my younger years as I do now, but it was there for me and I knew how to do it.
"Prayer is simply talking to God like a friend and should be the easiest thing we do each day." - Joyce Meyer
If you are new to prayer, or want to consider a different approach to prayer, keep reading. Because prayer is a way of creating a relationship, it should reflect your own unique personality. You can pray however you want. But here are the basics.
Make Time to Pray
The art of anything comes from habit, and prayer is no exception. As you start out, it is helpful to have time set aside each day simply because it will remind you to do it. Alternately, you can just begin chatting with God throughout your day. I do both. I begin each morning inviting God into my life for guidance and protection. I chat with God off and on throughout the day, perhaps to give thanks or ask for safety for my kids, or to turn something over that is too big for me to handle alone. Then at night, I go over my prayer list of all the people and issues that I want to focus on with God.
Build a Relationship
What God really wants, and what will be life changing for you, is to begin a relationship with Him. This means showing up as the real you, and having real conversations. It doesn't have to be fancy or eloquent. You do not have to be perfect to go to God. In fact, our imperfections and mistakes actually allow us to grow closer to God. God loves you just as you are, so show up being whoever that faboulous person is. Keep it real with God and just hang out with Him to get to know Him better.
What to Say
Like I told my student, you can ask God for what you need. Maybe you want guidance, maybe you need to find a job, maybe you are scared. Whatever it is, God is there for you. Just put it out there. You can also give thanks for what you do have. Telling God what you are grateful for is a really good way to connect with Him and also reflect on the positive things in your life. And then, there is my personal favorite: turning things over to God. I get overwhelmed with all the challenges we are facing right now. Some things are way, way too big for me to handle. So I turn those things over to God, asking Him to handle it for me and letting Him know that I want Him involved. I am putting trust in God to do something better and something bigger than I could have done. And over and over, He shows me that He is working on things for me, for us, in a huge and miraculous way.
Nothing is Too Big or Too Small
I spent over 40 years thinking that God had bigger problems to deal with than some of my worries. One example is that I never prayed for money even when I was really struggling. Now, I pray about everything that is impacting my life. I spam God with my insta prayers all the time. I pray for patience with the kids, I pray when I lose my keys, and I pray when things are going okay and I just want to give a shout out of thanks. I have come to learn that putting human limitations on God was a huge oversight on my part. God is here for us, all the time, any time, no matter what we bring to Him.
I hope this answers some of the basics about prayer. Please ask any follow up questions that you might have (all questions are good questions). For those of you more experienced in prayer, what kind advice would you give to someone just learning how to pray?
I can say that based on experience (mine and my clients') that prayer is a huge tool to help get us through really tough times. Whatever you are facing, God wants to hear from you about it. You are not alone.
Love,
Dax
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